Trans Inclusion in Congregations for UU Religious Professionals

The Transforming Hearts Collective is excited to announce an opportunity for Unitarian Universalist religious professionals to experience our ground-breaking course on transgender inclusion in congregations, with role-specific resources!

We have partnered with the Liberal Religious Educators Association (LREDA), the Association of UU Music Ministries (AUUMM), and the Unitarian Universalist Ministers Association (UUMA) to create cohorts of religious educators going through the course together, from January to March 2020.

Developed by Rev. Mykal Slack and Zr. Alex Kapitan, this six-session online course supports participants in taking their knowledge and skills to the next level to support congregations in becoming fully inclusive and affirming of trans/non-binary people. Going far beyond a “trans 101,” the course provides a deeply intersectional understanding of trans identity, experience, and spirituality; explores the role of culture in trans exclusion; and provides tools for faith-grounded culture shift that moves the margins to the center.

Benefits of Enrolling

AUUMM, LREDA, and UUMA members who register will receive:

• Full access to the online course (lectures, resources, and discussion board)

• Placement in a small discussion group of fellow music directors, religious educators, or ministers that will meet virtually three times (once per month)

• Tailored role-specific supplemental resources

• Access to live sessions with Mykal and Alex open only to fellow cohort members taking the course

In addition, LREDA members will receive credit for a 6-hour Learning Experience for credentialing and UUMA members will receive 6 hours of AR/AO/MC continuing education credit.

Details

Registration will close December 1, at which point registrants will be placed in small groups. The course will run from January through March, with small groups meeting once per month to discuss two sessions each time. Each session consists of a 45- to 60-minute pre-recorded lecture, supplemental resources, and reflection questions (get full course details). Participants will watch the lectures on their own whenever they want and then meet up virtually with their small group for discussion.

The course costs $125 per person. If enough people from each cohort sign up, a discount of 20% ($100 per person) will be unlocked. Generous full and partial scholarships are available (fill out the registration form to request a scholarship).

If you are a UUMA, LREDA, or AUUMM member, sign up now:

• LREDA registration

• UUMA registration

• AUUMM registration

Why It Matters

Unitarian Universalism is failing trans people. In January 2019, TRUUsT, the organization of UU trans religious professionals, released a report that showed that almost three-quarters of trans/non-binary UUs do not feel as though their congregation is completely inclusive of them as trans people, and almost half report regularly experiencing trans-related marginalization in UU spaces. 

Only about half of trans UUs who have a UU minister feel comfortable going to that person for pastoral care. Resources for creating trans-sensitive religious education programs for children and youth have lagged behind the ever-increasing need. Religious professionals play a key role in helping congregations and the UU movement as a whole become the home that it professes and strives to be for LGBTQ people of all ages, races, classes, and abilities. Continuing education on this topic is essential.

Questions?

We have answers: Contact us!

Tips for Talking About the UU World Article

Download this page as a printable flyer

This week the UU World published an article that was harmful to trans people people in the Unitarian Universalist movement. Many cisgender (non-trans) UUs are wondering how to best understand and support non-binary folks, trans women and men, intersex people, and others most affected by the article when they talk about it with other cis people. Here are some tips.

Key Practices

• Believe trans people

• Listen more than you talk

• Be willing to remain in discomfort

• Have hard conversations, with love

• Value relationships over perfectionism

• Don’t expect every trans person to want to educate you, but honor those who do

• Stay in your heart rather than your head

• Don’t ask a trans person anything you wouldn’t ask a cis person

• Comfort those who are hurting and build awareness with other cis people

• Uplift trans voices

1. Impact matters.

The author and editor of the article had good intentions. Yet the impact was that trans people in our movement have been harmed. That impact needs to be the focus. If your toilet breaks and your neighbor wants to help but isn’t a plumber and, in trying to fix the toilet, floods your apartment and causes massive damage, having other people focus on that person’s good intentions would be awful when everything you own is ruined.

2. You don’t have to personally understand the harm or feel harmed yourself to recognize that harm happened.

Many cis people don’t immediately understand why so many trans people are so hurt by the article. That’s okay. The most important starting place is to, in the words of UU lay leader Barb Seidl, “start with that it’s true,” even if you don’t completely understand it. Also, not all trans people feel the same way about the article. That’s also okay. But those who have been harmed need to be believed.

3. The article contained false and harmful information.

A lot of cis people feel that the article is informative. Unfortunately, the author was not knowledgeable about the subject and thus shared information that was misleading, incorrect, or otherwise problematic. As just a few examples (see trans UU leader CB Beal’s piece for more):

• The title gives the impression that trans people are an afterthought; that lesbian, gay, and bisexual people existed first or are more important; that many trans people aren’t also lesbian, gay, and bisexual in addition to being trans; and that UUism has completed its learning/welcome of lesbian, gay, and bisexual people (and thus can now “move on” to trans people).

• The author presents as an unchallenged fact her belief that hormones and surgery are “central” to who a person is and that it is impossible for her to get to know someone without knowing this extremely private information—even if she already knows a person’s identity is “woman” and the person goes by “she” and “her.”

• The trans history that the author presents is factually inaccurate. As one example, the word transgender did not replace the words transsexual, transvestite, and cross-dresser—it was invented to speak to something different and transsexuals and cross-dressers still exist. As another, the quip that the trans movement has moved from “passing” to “pride” invents a linear progression that simply does not exist and flattens the lived experiences of untold trans people from every age and era.

• The author conflates trans people and intersex people, talking about the incidence of trans people and the incidence of ambiguous genitalia in the same breath, and also mentions nonconsensual surgeries for intersex people multiple times without condemning this violent practice.

• The author communicates that people of color is a preferable term to black or African American, when each of these refers to different overlapping groups of people, and also that differently abled is preferable to disabled, when in fact the vast majority of disabled people and groups despise the former term.

4. Trans people aren’t just being harmed in the act of reading the article, they are being harmed by cis people’s reactions to it.

There are myriad ways trans people are experiencing harm because of the article. As CB Beal eloquently spoke to, the article’s author modeled asking trans people harmful and violent questions, so many cis people now feel emboldened to do the same and are cornering trans people at church to do so (this started immediately last Sunday). Trans UUs of all ages everywhere are now the subject of debate, subjected to cis people’s opinions about the piece, and burdened with the expectation of educating cis people (for free) about their very existence. We are currently in the final weeks of the search process, when all UU congregations seeking a new minister are interviewing candidates; fully 10% of the ministers in the search pool right now are trans. How many congregations will decide they “just aren’t ready” for a trans minister because of the reception of this article?

5. This is not an example of incremental progress.

There was no reason to publish an article that got so much wrong and caused so much pain to trans people. A lot of cis people are saying things like “At least it started a conversation” and “It’s better than nothing.” But in fact, no article at all would have been better than such a harmful article. As people of faith, it is unacceptable to say that the collateral damage to trans people caused by this article was somehow worth it, when that damage was completely avoidable. Furthermore, misinformation lodges deep. If the intention is to meaningfully work toward a world where trans people are fully free and honored, then accurate, respectful information is the bare minimum and is vital for people who are newly learning about trans identities; therefore, the article compromised this progress. 

6. The article centered a cisgender perspective.

“Centering” is a concept that speaks to whose worldview is most affirmed and whose voices are loudest; whose perspective is treated as “normal,” and thus at the center, and whose perspective is treated as “different,” and thus at the margins. In this case, the assumption is that the “default” reader is a cis person who struggles to understand and interact respectfully with trans people, just like the author. This assumption renders trans people invisible or further pushed to the margins. It’s not that cis people can’t ever talk or write about trans people, it’s about how they do so—and whether they are adding to and uplifting a conversation started by trans people or displacing the voices and agency of trans people.

7. The article’s publication was based on an assumption that cis people’s perspectives on trans people are more valuable than trans people’s perspectives on ourselves.

There are dozens, if not hundreds, of trans UU leaders, writers, poets, and prophets who could have written an incredible feature article about trans lives, spiritualities, struggles within UUism, and more. It could have been a conversational piece co-written by a trans person and a loved one, such as the person’s parent, partner, or child. It could have been a series of profiles of trans UUs that showcased the diversity and brilliance among us. There is nothing this article did that couldn’t have been done better by a trans author in a way that did not cause harm to trans people.

8. Kimberly and Chris are neither evil nor are they being expected to be perfect.

Kimberly French (author) and Chris Walton (editor) caused a great deal of harm. But making them villains is a sleight of hand that keeps us from looking at the institutional systems involved and our own human failings and prejudices and the ways we too (depending on our identities and social location) stumble regularly. On the flip side, dismissing the anger and hurt of trans UUs by saying that Kimberly and Chris should be “given a chance” and “shouldn’t be expected to be perfect” is unacceptable. Perfection is neither an expectation nor a helpful goal. The expectation is that they are in relationship with and heed the counsel and expertise of trans UU leaders, in order to avoid causing such harm.

9. This article is not an isolated incident.

The UU World has arguably just as much impact on the direction of the denomination as General Assembly; every registered member of a UU congregation gets a print subscription to this magazine. It is immensely well-respected and often offers forward-thinking and leading-edge pieces that help all of us grow, spiritually. Yet the magazine consistently features articles about marginalized people written by authors who do not have lived experience in the topic they are writing about. In the same issue as this article, there was also an article about autism written by an allistic (not autistic) and non-disabled author and an article reflecting back on the racism of the TJ Ball written by a white author. The six-person staff of the magazine is 100% white. After two years of intentionally grappling with dismantling white supremacy culture within this religion, this shows that the learnings are not being applied at UU World and there isn’t enough institutional will to ensure they are.

10. This article, and the experiences of trans people in UU congregations, are a further example of the workings of white supremacy culture.

It’s tempting to see trans people as yet another community that has been harmed (in addition to people of color, for example) rather than the same people being harmed again and again and again. Trans people are also people of color, disabled people, low-income people, queer people, young people—in fact, all of these identities are more present among trans UUs than the general UU population. For this religion to survive, much less live into its potential and promise, Unitarian Universalists must stop using a “flavor of the month” approach to talking about oppression. Learn and talk about the ways that UUism is failing trans people, how white supremacy culture is at the heart of this failure, and how trans people of color and other multiply marginalized people face many more barriers to inclusion because of intensified oppression.

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 The Transforming Hearts Collective is a collective of four trans and queer faith leaders (Rev. Mykal Slack, Zr. Alex Kapitan, LeLaina Romero, and Teo Drake) that supports congregations in becoming radically welcoming spiritual homes for queer and trans people of all races, classes, abilities, sexualities, and ages.

For those interested in deeper learning and transformation on this topic, we offer a comprehensive online course, "Transgender Inclusion in Congregations," for individuals, congregations, and groups, as well as in-person workshops and guest preaching. Find out more about our offerings.

Introducing the Radical Welcome Advisory Team

Last year the Transforming Hearts Collective was excited to announce the beginnings of plans to create a pilot program for congregations that want to take their “welcome” to the next level. We are thrilled to share that these plans are progressing and, because it matters that this work be engaged in an accountable way and not in isolation, we are now supported by an Advisory Team that will be lending their expertise, gifts, and perspectives to this effort!

Minister Candace Simpson is a sister, preacher and educator. It is Candace's philosophy that Heaven is a Revolution that can happen right here on Earth.

Rev. Theresa I. Soto is a Unitarian Universalist minister and liberation worker. They live in Ashland, Oregon, and aspire to building new futures of unprecedented equity. They like kale and gummi bears, but probably not together. They strongly dislike mayonnaise from jars.

I’m Rev. Dr. Marni Harmony. I’m now retired after 40 years in Unitarian Universalist ministry, which was mostly parish ministry but I have also served as a hospital chaplain and then a couple of interim ministry positions after my last settled ministry.

I'm Kim Sweeney, queer mother of two teenagers with a background in education, faith formation, and organizational change. I live in western Massachusetts and I'm excited to work with this rockstar group of people.

I’m Dani Henri and I live in Portland, Oregon. I am a musician and songwriter. I am also a disabled trans gay man. I also do work at the intersection of queerness, sex, and disability. I work in retail and social media in the adult industry. Samples of my work on queerness and disability can be found here.

Rev. Dr. Jonipher Kwong is a gay cis-male in his 40s living the LA life after a stint in Honolulu and currently serves the UUA as Congregational Life Staff in the Pacific Western Region. Originally ordained with the Metropolitan Community Church, he’s done parish, community, and now institutional ministry. Here’s his website if you want to know more!

Building on the successes and failures of the UUA’s Welcoming Congregation Program, which three-quarters of Unitarian Universalist congregations have used over the last 28 years to expand their understanding and welcome of LGBTQ people and which became a model for similar programs in other denominations, our goal is to create a program that will help faith communities truly take things to the next level (within and beyond Unitarian Universalism).

We want to help congregations believe in the possibility of transforming their culture around “welcome,” difference, the purpose of spiritual community, marginalized experiences (particularly sexuality, gender, race/ethnicity, class, and ability), and social justice. We plan to create a program that is intersectional, heart-centered, spiritually grounded, up-to-date with respect to LGBTQ identity, flexible and custom-fit, and transformational.

If you’re interested in staying tuned in about our progress, sign up to stay in touch below, in the footer of the website. And if your congregation is dedicated to transformation and interested in being a part of the pilot program, please contact us!

When Welcome Fails: Conversations on the Margins

Have you ever attended a Unitarian Universalist congregation because you heard or hoped it would be welcoming to people like you, and then had a profoundly unwelcoming experience? Us too. Do you want to be in conversation with others like us about what real, radical welcome requires?

Let’s talk. The Transforming Hearts Collective is working on a pilot program for congregations that truly want to transform their culture into one where queer, trans, black and brown, disabled, poor and working class, and otherwise marginalized folks aren’t just welcome but are centered. Where no one has to leave any piece of themselves at the door. Where the goal isn’t inclusion, it's liberation.

We want to have soul-deep conversations with others who have struggled to feel welcome/belonging in UU spaces about where congregations fall short in their welcome of people who fall outside of what’s considered the normative UU experience (white, cis, moneyed, etc.) and what a radical vision of Unitarian Universalist community looks like to those of us on the margins. Join us! RSVP here.

Details

Each conversation will be 2-3 hours long and there are four different date/time options (one is for people of color only; the others are open to all):

• Monday September 17, 8pm Eastern / 5pm Pacific

• Saturday October 6, 11am Eastern / 8am Pacific

• Monday October 22, 8pm Eastern / 5pm Pacific (PEOPLE OF COLOR ONLY)

• Friday November 16, 3pm Eastern / noon Pacific

On each video call we’ll spend time getting to know one another, talk about our experiences of how “welcome” has failed us, discuss together what real, radical welcome would be like for us, and also talk about what we need in order to heal from our unwelcoming experiences.

Participants will join the Transforming Hearts Collective learning community and get free access to all current and future Collective webinars and courses for a year.

Facilitators

Rev. Mykal Slack has been working in congregations and other faith settings for more than a decade, helping to develop anti-racist, anti-oppressive, and LGBTQ-affirming frameworks for church life and to foster community life practices that embody radical welcome and connection. Mykal serves as the Community Minister for Worship & Spiritual Care for Black Lives of Unitarian Universalism (BLUU) and is on the visioning team for the Clearing, an emerging POC, queer, and trans-centered spiritual community. He lives in Durham, NC.

Zr. Alex Kapitan is a trainer, speaker, consultant, editor, and anti-oppression activist and lifelong Unitarian Universalist who grounds radical social justice work in a place of faith and love. Alex worked for eight years at the national headquarters of the Unitarian Universalist Association, supporting anti-racism and Welcoming Congregation programming and large-scale social justice organizing efforts, and is currently on the steering committee for TRUUsT, an organization of trans UU religious professionals. Alex lives in Greenfield, MA.

Announcing Our First Online Course!

The Transforming Hearts Collective is excited to announce our first online course: "Transgender Inclusion in Congregations," taught by trans faith leaders Rev. Mykal Slack and Zr. Alex Kapitan.

This course asks the question: what does it really take to create faith communities where people of all gender identities can get our spiritual needs met and bring our gifts forward? When it comes to trans communities, "welcome" requires more than an open door or a rainbow flag. This course is for individuals, groups, and congregational teams who are serious about dismantling gender-based oppression and want to explore the personal and collective transformation that we are called to engage in as people of faith. 

Over six sessions, participants deeply explore the intersections of trans identity, spirituality, and faith community, and gain the grounding, context, and skills to transform themselves and their congregation. Each session includes a 45- to 60-minute pre-recorded lecture, reflection questions, and resources that take the conversation deeper. In addition, Mykal and Alex will be holding regular live video chats for all current and past course participants.

The course is for everyone from novices on trans identity to those with decades of life experience. Rather than offering a “trans 101,” this class pushes participants to the next level of congregational welcome, relationship-building, and skills-building. Congregational teams are particularly encouraged to sign up. 

Radical Welcome Pilot Program

The Transforming Hearts Collective is thrilled to announce the beginning of plans to launch a pilot program for congregations that want to take their “welcome” to the next level—with the support of a grant from the Unitarian Universalist Funding Program!

Growing out of a call to support congregations in becoming places where queer and trans people of all races/ethnicities, abilities, classes, and ages can fully get their spiritual needs met and bring their gifts forward, we are working to create a pilot program that will help faith communities transform their congregational culture around “welcome,” difference, the purpose of spiritual community, marginalized experiences (particularly sexuality, gender, race/ethnicity, class, and ability), and social justice. We plan to create a program that is:

1. Intersectional. 
   No faith community can claim to be LGBTQ-welcoming if that welcome only extends to LGBTQ people of particular races, classes, abilities, and ages. Rather than treating different aspects of identity and experience separately, we plan to create a program that fully integrates sexuality, gender, race/ethnicity, ability, class, age, and more, and is grounded in the experiences and needs of people who have multiple marginalized identities.
    
2. Heart-centered.
   We believe that in order for transformation to happen, we need to reach people’s hearts, not just their minds. A lot of LGBTQ inclusion work focuses on intellectual understandings of what it means to be trans, or what the experiences of gay people are, rather than deeply engaging on a heart level with how oppression keeps us all from being our full authentic selves when it comes to gender and sexuality. We plan to create a program that centers compassion, care, and love.
    
3. Spiritually grounded.
   Practicing radical welcome is a way of practicing Beloved Community. There are deep, spiritual roots to our call to engage with difference differently. We plan to create a program that grounds participants in their faith and gives them concrete tools and spiritual practices for the work of welcome.
    
4. Up-to-date with respect to LGBTQ identity.
   Language and understandings around gender, sexuality, relationships, and families have been shifting and evolving at breathtaking speeds, and many faith communities are decades behind. We plan to create a program that pushes participants to engage with modern understandings of gender and sexuality and stays perpetually up-to-date rather than becoming quickly obsolete.
    
5. Flexible and custom-fit.
   One of the key flaws of curriculum-based programs for faith communities is that they don’t work the same way in congregations of varying sizes, resources, demographics, and geographic locations. We plan to create a program that allows each congregation that engages with it to have a custom-fit experience.
    
6. Transformational.
   Transformation requires much more than a curriculum, which is why we plan to create a program that engages a congregation’s full membership and leadership, as well as engaging every area of congregational life, including worship, religious education, social justice, and more. We also plan to create a program that establishes practices for continued growth in this area, rather than a “one-and-done” approach.

We plan to utilize a grounded and accountable method of creating this program, starting with creating an advisory committee of people representing a diversity of sexualities, genders, races, classes, abilities, ages, congregational experience, leadership roles, etc., then working as a collective to create a pilot program, identifying initial congregations to participate in the pilot, and working closely with those congregations to improve the program before launching it in full.

Ultimately our goal is to help faith communities transform and live into their full potential as places of radical inclusion and forces for justice in the world. We can’t wait to share more as this program develops!